A few years ago I wrote some posts about why it’s not okay to convince children to believe in Santa Claus. I stand by the statement that it’s not okay the lie to kids. They rely on adults to give them a good picture of reality, and convincing them that there’s a supernatural man that watches them and delivers presents isn’t cool. Since I wrote those posts, homes everywhere have invited in a guest that brings with them a whole new pile of bullshit and tyranny, the Elf on the Shelf. I’m not a Christmas cynic (okay, I’m a bit of a Christmas cynic), but this is something else.
The Elf on the Shelf is “a special scout elf sent from the North Pole to help Santa Claus manage his naughty and nice lists.” He stays on the shelf during the day, and then flies off to the North Pole at night to report on what kids have been up to. He even comes with a special storybook you can read to your kids at night to tell them all about what the elf does. If they’re bad, Santa will know, because his pointy-eared telescreen will report to him. Upon the elf’s return, they are known to cause hijinks, and parents are encouraged to arrange them in a way that shows the elf has been up to some mischief for the kids to find. Let’s get the story straight: this magically sentient NSA elf hangs out in your house and spies on your kids, flies away in the night, and then comes back and generally messes with your stuff? Even the actual NSA doesn’t do that last part.
Maybe I’m being grinchy. Maybe it’s all Christmas magic and not a way of instilling false beliefs in kids in a manner that leverages good behaviour. But in the Elf on a Shelf FAQ, under the question “What does my elf tell Santa?” we find “Your Elf on the Shelf reports all sorts of things to Santa, like when you’ve been naughty and nice. If you do your chores, he or she tells Santa what a good helper you are. When you don’t share your toys, he or she lets Santa know that, too!”
Translation: be good, for goodness’ sake. Or else Santa will know, and naughty children get coal in their stockings. If it’s all in good fun, then I wish someone would explain to me why the NSA actually spying on people and putting them on watchlists is in good fun.
Now, kids will believe what they believe, and I don’t think there’s any strong reason to steal away from them fantastic beliefs that they’ll grow out of one day. Spiderman is never going to be my best friend and I’m just going to have to deal with that, though after he made that pact with the devil to divorce his wife our relationship has never quite been the same. Practical jokes and harmless messing about? Wonderful and hilarious. Deliberately instilling supernatural beliefs or capitalizing on beliefs that they already have in order to control their behaviour? We didn’t think it was a good justification for the Iraq war, and don’t conscience teaching kids about the Boogey Man or the Baba Yaga anymore, so why should the Elf on the Shelf get a pass just because he has a smile?
There are lots of great Christmas traditions. Making ornaments, decorating, giving gifts, gingerbread houses, turkey dinner, family gatherings, fruitcake. Not fruitcake, but you know what I mean. they bring people together, and do it in a way that’s meaningful and doesn’t involve inviting asshole elves into your home to tattle on your kids and organize supernatural punishment. They also don’t involve telling lies to your kids. If you really want to give them a fantasy world, buy some plastic dinosaurs.
I agree with you on the Elf on a Shelf part. The idea of having a physical object in your house that supposedly spies on your kids is, frankly, creepy. However, I view Santa a little differently because he operates in a way that is similar to a slightly more evolved fable or moral story: here’s a story about someone who you should learn from. He’s nice, so you should be nice. These stories are how we initially learn what is socially acceptable behaviour.
The cool thing about Santa is that most kids aren’t consciously feeling watched and judged, and it’s not until about November that parents even remember to whip out the “remember to be good cause Santa’s watching” to moderate behaviour in people who, let’s face it, haven’t developed a deep moral compass yet. By the time kids are able to develop that on their own, the Santa mythos has pretty much worn off, and the magic is gone for them. Until that time, I say why deny kids the fun and the magic of believing in Santa. I certainly miss the fun of waiting for him every year.
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